The First Five Years

I recently celebrated my fifth year of conscious living.  Five years of working on self-mastery and of living a life which is intentional, purposeful and awakened.  When I reflect  on the previous 5 years of this journey it appears that the years have been in alignment and consistent with the meaning of Angel Numbers. Today, it feels like my life has been completely turned upside down and inside out. Changes in my family structure, career and personal life leave me feeling like I have literally been chewed up and spit out left to disintegrate into nothingness.

The first year of this journey began with me being mindful of my thoughts, I knew my mindset and attitude were key to achieving mindfulness and opening up a space for intuition and spirit to enter.  The second year manifested many successes as a result of consistent mindfulness, meditation, visualization and prayer.  True to the meaning of the Angel number three, I spent the third year praying for guidance and assistance from various spiritual masters.  This was the year my grandmother experienced health issues and eventually returned to the Divine Source.  As a result of my grandmother’s death the fourth year was plagued with financial stress and emotional healing on many levels.  Looking back on that fourth year, I can’t say how I made it through but in hindsight I know that the angels including my grandmother were watching over me and getting me through that challenging time in my life. The number five symbolizes major life changes.  This year I have experienced extreme financial challenges and as a result, I am on the brink of a major career change and have also met and welcomed my long-lost sister into my life.

It has been said by many spiritual masters that the darkest moments of one’s life are stepping-stones to self renewal and growth. An opportunity to make better choices than you have made previously and to shed the weight of past burdens. When you surrender your life to the Divine plan and accept whatever consequences follow, life experiences truly test your will and desire for an awakened life.  In meeting my sister for the first time it was very clear to me that many of the burdens and obstacles we face are built into our DNA and can not be escaped.

I sometimes wonder how I’ve made it this far and have had my fair share of moments where I desired the comfort of ignorance to temporarily ease the growing pains I’ve endured these past few years. Somehow through it all my faith has remained constant and I have refused to yield to mediocrity while remaining focused on letting go of old patterns and habits.  There are always set backs and once I feel like “I’ve got this” another experience shows up with a much deeper level of understanding and healing.

Looking forward I pray the next 5 years of this journey leave room for hope and an opportunity for me to prove that I have learned valuable life lessons during these past years.  The most important lesson I have learned this year is that you have to make sacrifices and do the work required to transform your life.  All of the praying, visualizing, planning and dreaming about a new life does very little if you are unwilling to give 100% day in and day out and if you are unwilling to make a different choice.  When you are unwilling to forgive yourself and others you can rest assure that the path to a better you will be slow and unsteady. If you are not willing to express gratitude merely for the fact that you woke up today then you might as well join the other sleep walkers allowing ego to run their lives. Your spirit must be filled with tenacity, intention, transparency and a willingness to own your faults and mistakes.  These past years have shown me that I am only accountable to my journey and as a result I am a walking testimony of how your life can change when you ignore the path of least resistance for the path that God is always leading you to.