I start off the new year feeling reborn. As if I arrived at this very moment fresh off of the breath of the Angels. Filled with wonder and curiosity about all things. All previous thought and beliefs are trapped in a world which no longer exists. What remains is a willingness to unlearn everything I thought I knew in order for the truth to surface once again. AlI that I have is the present moment. I am armored with wisdom, truth and awareness of self.
There are so many lessons that I carry with me into this new year. I’ve learned there is value in regrets. I’ve learned to let my encounters with other souls serve as a mirror to my truth or a stepping stone towards the elevation of my consciousness. I no longer speak the tall tales from my egoic self because I’ve learned that “telling the story” keeps me from seeing and accepting the present moment.
I also was recently reminded that the journey to success, the journey to my best life requires “the journey”. Taking short cuts only empower the ego and in the end take you backwards instead of propelling you forward. Once the perceived success is achieved, it’s often short lived because at the core you have cheated yourself. You have cheated God. And so the universe will continue to reflect the reality that your mind has consciously and unconsciously created. You can not side step your way to becoming your best self and you most certainly can block your own blessings. As long as I have breath in my body I know there is no escape from the journey.
I used to arm myself with the notion that living without regrets made me strong and resilient. The truth of the matter is this attitude created a platform for ego to thrive and survive. Fighting against the current of reality left me drowning in unconsciousness gasping for air. In facing myself, the denial, stories and the lies that I believed about myself, I realized that there were many things I would do differently given the opportunity. Much of what I have learned about myself and life is because of the choices I have made, good, bad or indifferent. In hindsight my regrets are some of my greatest teachers. Life’s regrets taught me empathy, self care and increased awareness.
“No regrets, doesn’t mean living with courage, it means living without reflection. To live without regret is to believe you have nothing to learn, no amends to make, and no opportunity to be braver with your life.” ~Brene Brown
Sometimes our minds tell stories disguised as truths about ourselves. I’ll be the first to admit that I have not only shared but believed many of these stories I’ve created about myself. All the while giving life to the past and keeping fear alive in the present. Like the saying goes “That’s my story and I’m sticking to it”. There’s a lot of power in that statement. Once the mind believes something to be true, once the mind tries to rationalize something incomprehensible and when the mind is driven by fear, our minds tend to create a story about it. The more we tell or relive this story, the more power we give it. The more we buy into it. The more we defend and hold on to it. A disciplined and awakened mind knows that every thought passing through is doing just that. Passing through. It becomes a matter of how you identify yourself. Marianne Williamson gives a great example of this when she analogizes the universe, God, presence, awareness as a house of electricity and we as people to a lamp. The purpose of the lamp is to provide light. If the lamp is not plugged in, it cannot shed light. The light shed does not come from the lamp. but comes from the electricity. If you choose to think of yourself as your body, your thoughts, your circumstances, etc., you are identifying with the lamp. If you choose to identify with Spirit you identify with something greater than yourself which flows through you and lights up the entire universe. In essence the purpose of the lamp is to plug in or connect so that electricity can flow thereby producing light. In any given situation I have the ability to plug in. That is where my truth can be found.
“What do we call a story that’s based on limited real data and imagined data and blended into a coherent, emotionally satisfying version of reality? A conspiracy theory.”~ Brene Brown.
Out of all the lessons though, the one which was most impactful was choosing to make my experiences about me instead of others. There comes the time in your life when you have to face your own bullshit, period! A slickster can’t be outslicked because game recognizes game. Truth recognizes truth. Spirit recognizes spirit. The problem is, it’s easier to call someone else out on their “issues” versus acknowledging the who, what, where and how these “issues” are showing up in your life. It’s much easier to place blame or put a label on someone else instead of asking yourself where that energy exists in you. When you live in denial, you can not fix what needs to be healed. When you live in denial you give your power to external circumstances and are always reacting to someone else’s drama. You are living your life from the energy of your wounds. I know what my triggers are now. When an uncomfortable situation faces me I now allow time to reflect on how I invited the experience into my life. Sometimes the answers come quickly, sometimes it takes weeks or months. In the end when I look in the mirror/experience before me, I find myself facing a wound that needs healing, a belief that I need to let go of, or I recognize that in some manner I’m operating from a vibrational frequency which is far from consciousness. I am identifying with my body and not my spirit. I am not plugged into electricity. We reap what we sow even when the seeds were planted unintentionally. Divine energy places certain people and situations in my life to help me see myself. To help me become a better version of myself. To see the best of myself as well as my flaws. To have empathy and compassion. To learn forgiveness. Divine energy is always placing people and situations in your life to help you see the true essence of your being.
My intention this year is to remain plugged in, to allow God’s love and light to flow through me, so that I can be used to spread light amongst those I encounter. Everything else will fall in place and unfold as it should.