The First Five Years

I recently celebrated my fifth year of conscious living.  Five years of working on self-mastery and of living a life which is intentional, purposeful and awakened.  When I reflect  on the previous 5 years of this journey it appears that the years have been in alignment and consistent with the meaning of Angel Numbers. Today, it feels like my life has been completely turned upside down and inside out. Changes in my family structure, career and personal life leave me feeling like I have literally been chewed up and spit out left to disintegrate into nothingness.

The first year of this journey began with me being mindful of my thoughts, I knew my mindset and attitude were key to achieving mindfulness and opening up a space for intuition and spirit to enter.  The second year manifested many successes as a result of consistent mindfulness, meditation, visualization and prayer.  True to the meaning of the Angel number three, I spent the third year praying for guidance and assistance from various spiritual masters.  This was the year my grandmother experienced health issues and eventually returned to the Divine Source.  As a result of my grandmother’s death the fourth year was plagued with financial stress and emotional healing on many levels.  Looking back on that fourth year, I can’t say how I made it through but in hindsight I know that the angels including my grandmother were watching over me and getting me through that challenging time in my life. The number five symbolizes major life changes.  This year I have experienced extreme financial challenges and as a result, I am on the brink of a major career change and have also met and welcomed my long-lost sister into my life.

It has been said by many spiritual masters that the darkest moments of one’s life are stepping-stones to self renewal and growth. An opportunity to make better choices than you have made previously and to shed the weight of past burdens. When you surrender your life to the Divine plan and accept whatever consequences follow, life experiences truly test your will and desire for an awakened life.  In meeting my sister for the first time it was very clear to me that many of the burdens and obstacles we face are built into our DNA and can not be escaped.

I sometimes wonder how I’ve made it this far and have had my fair share of moments where I desired the comfort of ignorance to temporarily ease the growing pains I’ve endured these past few years. Somehow through it all my faith has remained constant and I have refused to yield to mediocrity while remaining focused on letting go of old patterns and habits.  There are always set backs and once I feel like “I’ve got this” another experience shows up with a much deeper level of understanding and healing.

Looking forward I pray the next 5 years of this journey leave room for hope and an opportunity for me to prove that I have learned valuable life lessons during these past years.  The most important lesson I have learned this year is that you have to make sacrifices and do the work required to transform your life.  All of the praying, visualizing, planning and dreaming about a new life does very little if you are unwilling to give 100% day in and day out and if you are unwilling to make a different choice.  When you are unwilling to forgive yourself and others you can rest assure that the path to a better you will be slow and unsteady. If you are not willing to express gratitude merely for the fact that you woke up today then you might as well join the other sleep walkers allowing ego to run their lives. Your spirit must be filled with tenacity, intention, transparency and a willingness to own your faults and mistakes.  These past years have shown me that I am only accountable to my journey and as a result I am a walking testimony of how your life can change when you ignore the path of least resistance for the path that God is always leading you to.

 

 

 

The Year of My Best Life

I start off the new year feeling reborn. As if I arrived at this very moment fresh off of the breath of the Angels. Filled with wonder and curiosity about all things. All previous thought and beliefs are trapped in a world which no longer exists. What remains is a willingness to unlearn everything I thought I knew in order for the truth to surface once again. AlI that I have is the present moment. I am armored with wisdom, truth and awareness of self.

There are so many lessons that I carry with me into this new year. I’ve learned there is value in regrets. I’ve learned to let my encounters with other souls serve as a mirror to my truth or a stepping stone towards the elevation of my consciousness. I no longer speak the tall tales from my egoic self because I’ve learned that “telling the story” keeps me from seeing and accepting the present moment.

I also was recently reminded that the journey to success, the journey to my best life requires “the journey”. Taking short cuts only empower the ego and in the end take you backwards instead of propelling you forward. Once the perceived success is achieved, it’s often short lived because at the core you have cheated yourself. You have cheated God. And so the universe will continue to reflect the reality that your mind has consciously and unconsciously created. You can not side step your way to becoming your best self and you most certainly can block your own blessings. As long as I have breath in my body I know there is no escape from the journey.

I used to arm myself with the notion that living without regrets made me strong and resilient. The truth of the matter is this attitude created a platform for ego to thrive and survive. Fighting against the current of reality left me drowning in unconsciousness gasping for air. In facing myself, the denial, stories and the lies that I believed about myself, I realized that there were many things I would do differently given the opportunity. Much of what I have learned about myself and life is because of the choices I have made, good, bad or indifferent. In hindsight my regrets are some of my greatest teachers. Life’s regrets taught me empathy, self care and increased awareness.

“No regrets, doesn’t mean living with courage, it means living without reflection. To live without regret is to believe you have nothing to learn, no amends to make, and no opportunity to be braver with your life.”  ~Brene Brown

Sometimes our minds tell stories disguised as truths about ourselves. I’ll be the first to admit that I have not only shared but believed many of these stories I’ve created about myself. All the while giving life to the past and keeping fear alive in the present. Like the saying goes “That’s my story and I’m sticking to it”. There’s a lot of power in that statement. Once the mind believes something to be true, once the mind tries to rationalize something incomprehensible and when the mind is driven by fear, our minds tend to create a story about it. The more we tell or relive this story, the more power we give it. The more we buy into it. The more we defend and hold on to it. A disciplined and awakened mind knows that every thought passing through is doing just that. Passing through. It becomes a matter of how you identify yourself. Marianne Williamson gives a great example of this when she analogizes the universe, God, presence, awareness as a house of electricity and we as people to a lamp. The purpose of the lamp is to provide light. If the lamp is not plugged in, it cannot shed light. The light shed does not come from the lamp. but comes from the electricity. If you choose to think of yourself as your body, your thoughts, your circumstances, etc., you are identifying with the lamp. If you choose to identify with Spirit you identify with something greater than yourself which flows through you and lights up the entire universe. In essence the purpose of the lamp is to plug in or connect so that electricity can flow thereby producing light. In any given situation  I have the ability to plug in. That is where my truth can be found.

“What do we call a story that’s based on limited real data and imagined data and blended into a coherent, emotionally satisfying version of reality? A conspiracy theory.”~ Brene Brown.

Out of all the lessons though, the one which was most impactful was choosing to make my experiences about me instead of others. There comes the time in your life when you have to face your own bullshit, period! A slickster can’t be outslicked because game recognizes game. Truth recognizes truth. Spirit recognizes spirit. The problem is, it’s easier to call someone else out on their “issues” versus acknowledging the who, what, where and how these “issues” are showing up in your life. It’s much easier to place blame or put a label on someone else instead of asking yourself where that energy exists in you. When you live in denial, you can not fix what needs to be healed. When you live in denial you give your power to external circumstances and are always reacting to someone else’s drama. You are living your life from the energy of your wounds. I know what my triggers are now. When an uncomfortable situation faces me I now allow time to reflect on how I invited the experience into my life. Sometimes the answers come quickly, sometimes it takes weeks or months. In the end when I look in the mirror/experience before me, I find myself facing a wound that needs healing, a belief that I need to let go of, or I recognize that in some manner I’m operating from a vibrational frequency which is far from consciousness. I am identifying with my body and not my spirit. I am not plugged into electricity. We reap what we sow even when the seeds were planted unintentionally. Divine energy places certain people and situations in my life to help me see myself. To help me become a better version of myself. To see the best of myself as well as my flaws. To have empathy and compassion. To learn forgiveness. Divine energy is always placing people and situations in your life to help you see the true essence of your being.

My intention this year is to remain plugged in, to allow God’s love and light to flow through me, so that I can be used to spread light amongst those I encounter.  Everything else will fall in place and unfold as it should.

 

 

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A letter to my 14 year old self.

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/daily-prompt-8/”>From You to You</a>

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “From You to You.”

Dear Elisha,

It’s very funny that this opportunity has come my way as I have been spending a lot of time reflecting on our history together. I have been trying to identify the correlations between my present life experiences and the patterns and unconscious energy from my past which continue to show up in my present life.  In fact, just driving home this evening I realized that I missed my younger self.  I missed the part of me that eased through conflict and challenges with grace, almost unaffected and with the ability to let things go.  I also missed the tenacious spirit in me that never tired until the desired outcome was achieved.

In this moment I see that I have forgotten some important lessons which you at 14 had mastered.  Perhaps at 14 you were more mindful than I now realize?  Your quiet nature has always allowed you to be the observer of your surroundings and those within your space.  You lived with minimal fear and flowed with life as if everything was rigged in your favor.  You have so much power at 14, but not enough wisdom or life experience to fully wield it.

As you get older and grow into womanhood remember that in order to grow and fulfill your purpose the challenges and obstacles that cross your path will become more difficult.  Remember to feel the fear and move through it.  It’s exactly like when your standing in the wings before a dance performance feeling the butterflies, that small twinge of fear. Remember that once you’re onstage the butterflies are set free allowing you to shine and share your gift with those in your presence.  This is called being present or living in the moment.  In the present moment this is where you will come to know and feel the presence of God.  Continue to lean towards stillness. Maintain your quiet nature and demeanor but keep your wits about you.   When life’s lessons become more difficult it is in stillness and in listening to your intuition that you will be able to receive direction from God and be led in the right direction.

Most important remember that you will live an amazing life! It will not always look the way you want it to and things will definitely not always go your way but know this to be true, go with the flow, learn the lessons and come to understand that life is happening for you and in divine grace.  Know this and you will experience miracles and blessings in your life that exceed your most beautiful dreams.

I Love You!